Not Kidding Anymore
by xotakux2002x
Summary: Sequel to You're Kidding. The children are out and about now, but what will they do to make themselves worthy of the Akatsuki name?
1. Prologue

It had been approximately one week since Pein had sent the children out of the mountainside base and into the wider world to make a name for themselves. To some people, that might not seem like very much time at all, but to a certain blue-haired girl with gills on her cheeks and Sharingan in her eyes, it was too much wasted time.

Tenshi sighed and stared at the sky above her, as if the clouds drifting past would offer her some advice on what to do now. Really, you'd think that for a genius like her it would be easier to come up with a way to become an infamous criminal! But as the facts stood, Tenshi was at a loss.

"Stop sulking," a voice called out from a nearby campsite. "It's only been a week, Tenshi; even your dad needed a couple years to become ANBU."

Tenshi looked to the side to see Boom sitting by the campfire, molding a clump of clay between her pale fingers. For once the younger girl's bright red hair had been tied back into a ponytail, allowing the explosive artist to work without strands of red falling into her line of vision. "Boom, we've been gone a week and haven't even burned down a village or anything yet! I'm sure regular ninjas that are trained in proper ninja academies would be way ahead of us by now, given the same situation."

Boom turned to look at Tenshi, a puzzled look on her face. "What's with you, Tenshi? You're supposed to be the one of us with the brains and the intricate plans. Panicking's totally my thing."

Tenshi shook her head. "Sorry. But you understand why I'm worried, don't you?"

Boom nodded as she absent-mindedly continued to mold her clay. "Yeah. If we have to go back home and admit failure…I don't think I could ever look Dei-dei in the eye again."

"Poppa would be sad but really understanding, and dad…" Tenshi shook her head, not even wanting to imagine what the elder Uchiha would think of her. "Regardless, we only have two years to try and prove ourselves, and we've spent a week drifting from country to country trying to come up with a good way to make a name for ourselves."

"So far, we've got thieves, bodyguards, assassins, terrorists, or politicians on the list," Boom ticked off on her fingers. "And while those are all equally evil, they're not quite right for our skills, huh?"

Tenshi shook her head. "We need to give them a unique twist. There are tons of different explosives in the world, but Deidara made a name for himself as a bomber above all others. Poppa can't be beaten on water, Hidan and Kakuzu are immortal, Sasori conquered a country with his art, Kakuzu and Hidan are both immortal, Konan has those crazy origami tricks, Pein has his Rinnegan, and until I came along dad was the youngest ever Sharingan user. That's a lot to live up to, even more so when you consider that we children were made by combinations of those ninjas. We can't just be great ninjas, Boom; we have to be ninjas that can surpass even our parents in skill and renown."

"Yeesh, when you put it that way I can see why you're getting so stressed out."

"Exactly." Tenshi walked over to the fire and pulled a fish off the spit it had been cooking on; no point moping on an empty stomach, right? "But, our parents were paired up because their skills complemented each other in the first place, right? Therefore, their children should not only inherit a wide variety of skills, but also skills that are meant to work well with one another. For example, poppa's huge amount of chakra combined with Sharingan means that one day I'll probably surpass dad in genjutsu."

"Huh, when you look at it like that it doesn't seem too bad." Boom set down her clay and grabbed another fish off the spit, joining Tenshi in eating dinner. "Actually, that gives me an idea."

"What is it?"

"Well, our parents all have their signature moves, right? But they also know a bunch of other techniques too! So, maybe until we figure out how to get famous, we should focus on building up our personal arsenal of techniques until we find a combination that works for us!"

"You know, that's not a bad idea," Tenshi remarked.

Boom giggled at this. "I keep telling you, I'm more than just a pretty face!"

Tenshi watched the younger girl from the corner of her eye, admiring how cute Boom looked like this when she was completely relaxed and chowing down on her favorite food. It was beyond Tenshi's capability to resist scooting closer and leaning in for a kiss-

Only to be confronted by a clay spider in her face. "Tenshi," Boom began, voice dripping with honey and an all-too-sweet smile on her face, "you wouldn't be trying to make out with me while I'm eating dinner, would you? Particularly since you know that my bombs can still be detonated faster than your eyes can activate."

"Er, of course not sweetie," Tenshi replied, reminding herself that Kisame said it was perfectly ok to harbor a healthy fear of your significant other. Boom, satisfied with this answer, set down her pouch of explosive clay and resumed eating.

Tenshi, of course, chose this moment to pounce. "ACK!"

"First rule of being a rogue ninja," Tenshi grinned from above her pinned girlfriend. "Never let your guard down."

"You suck," Boom pouted as Tenshi leaned in to give her a kiss.

-meanwhile, several hundred miles away-

"Hey, Amaifuyu, where are we heading?" Hakushi asked, blowing his long blue hair out of his face. "You said you had a plan, right?"

Amaifuyu turned to look over his shoulder at the grinning blue-haired male. The two of them had been walking through the Land of Hot Water for a few days now, having only recently crossed the border. This was important for Amaifuyu's plan, but… "Hakushi?"

"Yeah beautiful?"

Amaifuyu bit his lip, somewhat nervous about what he was about to say. It was times like this that made him wish he'd inherited a bit more of Hidan's brashness around boyfriends. "I have a plan, but it'll only give me immediate gains, not long-term gains for our goal or really any benefit to you."

Hakushi cocked his head in confusion. "So why are we doing this then? Why are we back here in Hidan's home country, anyway?"

"Mum found Jashin here," Amaifuyu explained. "Did he ever tell you how he became immortal?"

"No, but I never really asked."

"It was Jashin's gift to him. Mum would gain immortality, provided he used that immortality to cut short the lives of others. Jashin gives to you as long as you give to him."

"Huh. Wait, so you want to be immortal too? I guess that's cool; but I don't think I'm up to ripping out hearts yet-"

"No, I don't want that," Amaifuyu quickly interjected. "I want something else. Something that no human can give me; it can only be granted by a god."

"Amai, what is it?" Hakushi asked, approaching the older teen and putting his hands on the little miser's shoulders. "You can tell me."

"I want to be a woman. Not the kind doctors can make you where they have to mutilate your body to create an imitation; I want to be a genuine woman."

Hakushi blinked in surprise. He knew that Amaifuyu liked cross-dressing, and disguising himself as a girl on missions, but he never quite took his thoughts to the next level. "Really?"

"Yes, really," Amaifuyu snapped, clearly growing uncomfortable with the conversation. "I've just, I've always felt like something wasn't quite right with me, and cross-dressing helped for a while. Then I learned how to henge, and the first time I transformed into a woman I knew what was wrong with me. I need to find Jashin and offer up whatever he wants, in exchange for this gift." Amaifuyu cautiously looked into Hakushi's eyes, thankful that he didn't possess the Rinnegan and thus couldn't look too deeply into the boy's thoughts. "Is that ok?"

"Sure, but…um, how can I say this…"

"Just spit it out," the dark-skinned boy demanded, mentally bracing himself for the worst. This was the part he'd feared; Hakushi outright rejecting him, making the rest of their partnership extremely uncomfortable.

Slowly, Hakushi brought up his hands to his own chest and made squeezing motions. "Could you, like, ask him for tits that are so big I could be smothered in them?"

"…"

"Wait, no, smaller boobs the size of apples so I have a nice handful to work with! No, better idea, huge watermelon boobs that we could use as a floatation device in the event of an emergency!"

"GAH!" Amaifuyu swung one of his curved blades at Hakushi's head, missing his boyfriend's skin but catching the tips of his blue hair. "You ass, I'm being serious here!"

"So am I!" Hakushi protested as he dodged another swipe. "I'm not stupid, Amai, I knew you were going to go beyond dressing up like a girl one day! Seriously, when's the last time you even wore a pair of boxers or went without shaving everything?"

Amaifuyu briefly stopped his assault at these words. "Really?"

"Yeah! But I always figured that you'd try to learn some longer lasting henge, or just go to a city to have the doctors perform a surgery on you. Having a god of death take care of everything's not too weird, all things considered."

"You mean that?" Amaifuyu asked, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes.

"Shit, don't cry babe," Hakushi begged, wrapping powerful arms around the teen's petite frame. "Of course I do. You're my best friend and the hottest thing I've ever seen; adding boobs will only make you better! And girls live longer than boys usually, so we can be together for longer too!"

Amaifuyu laughed and squeezed Hakushi close. "You're the best boyfriend in the world, you know that?"

"Of course," Hakushi replied with a wide grin. "I mean, think about it. The only real downside to you becoming a girl is that I'll have to use condoms when we get around to having sex so I don't knock you up with lots of babies."

WHAM

"Jashin-sama," Amaifuyu begged, clutching his pendant and ignoring a whimpering Hakushi who was now curled up in a ball on the ground, "please don't judge me based on the company I keep."

-meanwhile, in yet another country-

"I wonder what Tenshi and Boom are up to right now," Ahato murmured, strolling leisurely across the surface of a stream in Wave country.

"Why does it matter, mistress?" Heki asked, Rinnegan eyes carefully keeping a lookout for trouble so that the redheaded girl wouldn't have to bother with such a menial task.

"Because I'm sure that they're already toppling a village or assassinating a nobleman, like all the other genins in the world do!" Ahato snapped, shooting Heki a withering look. "I'll bet right now, Pein's getting information from Zetsu about how well they're doing-"

"Mistress, it's only been a week," Heki pointed out. "I doubt even they could have conquered more than a small hamlet by now. Tenshi's good-"

"No, Tenshi's amazing," Ahato corrected. "The youngest Sharingan user in the entire history of the kekkei genkai. The highest chakra levels among any of us children. And a drive to protect her loved ones that's so strong it's scary. My sister is a long-range type, skilled in ninjutsu and able to read Tenshi's moves almost as if she had a pair of Sharingan eyes herself. Tenshi and Boom are the perfect partners."

"I don't think we're too bad," Heki commented. "I can draw in opponents with my Rinnegan, and then all you have to do is attach chakra strings-"

"But that's not enough!" Ahato snapped. "Tenshi is an amazing ninja in her own right, different from either Kisame or Itachi. You and I…at the moment, the best thing we can be called are copies of our parents. My puppet techniques are easily as good as danna's, but they're not better or distinct from his in any way. And your Rinnegan is magnificent, but exactly like Pein's. Until we can get beyond that, we'll only be able to be on par with our parents, never mind surpassing any of our friends."

Heki took a chance and approached the redhead from the side, mindful of the female's volatile temper. He'd always wondered how Ahato and Boom got along so well, when their temperaments were so vastly different. Identical twins, but opposite personalities. "So this is why you've been so upset."

"How do you expect me to feel?"

"Don't worry; I doubt Hakushi and Amaifuyu will become more renowned than us in the near future. Besides, we work well together and are skilled in our own rights. Furthermore, a fully mastered Rinnegan is supposed to be stronger than a Sharingan, right?"

"Obviously."

"Then please, don't fret so much," Heki begged with a small smile. "Keep working on our Rinnegan puppet technique, and we'll surpass them in no time."

The ginger boy was suddenly jerked forward by invisible threads, and he didn't need to glance downward to know that Ahato had attached her chakra strings to his body. He was brought forward to look directly into Ahato's eyes, Rinnegan meeting bright blue. For a few moments, there was no movement or words between the two. And then Ahato tugged him forward ever so gently and kissed him on the lips, making the boy smile. "I suppose you have a point," she remarked. "For now, we'll refine our techniques and make modifications according to the enemies we encounter."

"So you'd like me to find enemies for us, mistress?"

"Such a good boy," she cooed, gently cupping Heki's cheek. "This is why you'll always be my favorite, no matter what." Heki, eager to please, immediately began scanning the countryside for any signs of bandits. Nothing like a little target practice to get the pair of them in the mood.

-meanwhile, at a certain mountainside base-

"Please Zetsu, just for a little while!" Hidan begged.

"No," the plant man snapped.

"What if we gave you enough money to take Tobi to a nice dinner, un?" Deidara asked.

"**Not a chance**."

"C'mon, a little peek won't hurt anything!" Kisame argued.

"My answer is final. **If you want to complain, take it up with Pein**."

"Take what up with me?" the Akatsuki leader asked as he entered the room, wondering why all of his subordinates (including Konan) were gathered in the living room.

The Akatsuki members looked to one another, silently trying to decide who would speak to the leader on their behalf. Itachi finally worked up the courage and spoke. "We wanted Zetsu to check up on the kids."

"Are you people out of your mind?!"

"Yes, with worry, un!" Deidara snapped. "My little girls are running around out there with no idea about what to do, un! We should've given them more experience or better equipment before sending them off, un!"

"It's not like we were going to interfere or anything," Hidan grumbled. "Just wanted to fucking make sure they're not dead or anything, Pein in the ass."

"Tenshi's Sharingan and Heki's Rinnegan would notice Zetsu as soon as he showed up," Pein retorted. "And just spying on Amaifuyu and Hakushi would not only be unfair, but make them feel inferior to the other teams if they ever found out that we did such a thing."

"But Pein-" Kakuzu tried to argue.

"Not buts! Honestly, you people were plenty dangerous and capable of taking care of yourselves at that age, so have a little faith in your offspring!" the leader, seeing how dejected the others looked, took a deep breath and softened his tone. "I know how tough this is; my own sons are out there right now. But if we can't go more than a week without looking over their shoulders to make sure that they're doing all right, how are they going to feel about their own abilities? It hurts, but this is for their own good. Please, calm down; considering that these are our children, we should be hearing about them in no time from our various sources. Mark my words; these kids will do great things."


	2. Chapter 1

"Fire jutsu…fire jutsu…earth jutsu…oh, here's a new water technique!"

"Great, toss it in the bag and let's get out of here," Tenshi ordered. Boom nodded and slipped the scroll into her bag, before the girls ducked out of the storeroom and up the stairs of the bookstore they'd snuck into.

Following Boom's plan, the pair of them had spent the past few days making their way to a village that catered to traveling ninjas, providing everything from food and shelter to weapons and information. Within the village where multiple shops that sold a variety of teaching aids for ninjas in training, and Tenshi and Boom had chosen to break into the one with the least amount of security. Boom had carefully disarmed the traps while Tenshi placed the owners under a basic sleeping jutsu; they'd wake up in the morning feeling just fine, but missing a few scrolls from their cellar.

Not wanting to be caught, the girls were very careful and cautious when making their way out of the village and back to their camp, located in a cave that up until very recently had housed a rather angry bear. Boom and Tenshi were trying to save as much money as they possibly could right now, in case their later missions would require bribery or trips to a hospital for treatment. If that meant having to sleep in caves and live off the fat of the land for a few months, then so be it.

Boom dropped their bag near the fire and immediately flopped down onto her bearskin blanket, letting out a happy sigh. "That actually went pretty well! From all the stories our parents told us, I thought something was bound to go wrong!"

"Our parents have been up against much tougher opponents than a couple of retired shopkeepers who never made it past genin level," Tenshi cautioned. "Though I'm beginning to think that our perceptions of how strong regular ninjas are might have been slightly skewed by our upbringing…"

"Whatever. C'mon, let's see the loot!"

Tenshi rolled her eyes but did as requested, dumping out their small backpack so the girls could divvy up the spoils. All together, they'd brought back two scrolls on earth techniques for Boom, two scrolls on fire techniques and one on water techniques for Tenshi, and a small book on genjutsu to share. "I wish we could've taken more, but I already felt bad enough taking this much. Really, we should've just grabbed one or two scrolls and left it at that; then their absence probably would have been attributed to a clerical error, not theft."

"Which one are you going to start on first?" Boom inquired, ignoring her friend's worry.

"Definitely the water techniques," Tenshi decided. "I always spent more time training with dad than poppa, so I need to improve my skills on water the most."

"And more earth moves for me!" Tenshi exclaimed.

"Sounds good. But for now, how about some dinner? We still have plenty of bear kebobs."

-the next morning-

"So, do you know exactly where this temple of Jashin is supposed to be?" Hakushi asked.

Amaifuyu shrugged. "Mum gave me directions, but he's always been really bad at finding his way around. Dad had to rescue us on a couple different occasions when we went into the forest to train."

"Yikes. And I'm guessing this isn't exactly the kind of place we can just ask people how to get to, right?"

"Well considering that Mum went on a murderous rampage in Jashin's name throughout the countryside-"

"Point made." The boys sighed in unison; while their mission to find Jashin sounded good on paper, executing the plan was proving to be more difficult. "Amai, be honest with me; what are the odds of us actually finding this place, relying solely on Hidan's directions?"

"About the same as the odds of your brother ever growing a pair and standing up to Ahato." Hakushi suddenly stopped in the middle of the road, eyes darting left and right. "Hakushi, what's wrong?"

"Well you see, my darling little snowflake," Hakushi began with a smile, "I just realized that it's been almost a whole hour since we kissed."

Amaifuyu was suddenly swept up into Hakushi's arms, being spun around as the younger male kissed him everywhere. "I really do adore everything about you, Amaifuyu. Your eyes, your mind, your smile, and most of all…"

"Yes?"

"Your reaction time!" Hakushi suddenly flung his partner into the woods at top speed, turning Amaifuyu into a tan flash as he drew his twin blades.

Hakushi rushed in after the Jashinist, grinning as he heard several thumps and a scream before he even caught sight of the enemy ninjas. There were three of them, probably chunin level or lower. One of them was missing his head by the time Hakushi arrived, and the other two were pretty cut up. Still, their speed was greater than Amaifuyu's, even Hakushi could see that, and now the dark-haired male was fighting defensively.

Hakushi quickly focused as much chakra into his right hand as possible and clocked one of his opponents in the stomach, sending the man reeling backwards and crashing through several branches before colliding with the trunk of another tree. "Ow, shit," he hissed, wincing as he saw the burns on the back of his hands. His chakra control wasn't perfect yet, and the side effects of his taijutsu were rather painful.

Amaifuyu, taking advantage of the other ninja's momentary distraction, quickly subdued the man and bound him with rope from his bag. Kakuzu had refused to teach his son the technique to control threads like his before the boy left, but why he'd done that Amaifuyu didn't know. They certainly would have come in handy at a time like this.

"Wow, that was pretty good!" Hakushi remarked. "You took out two of them without help from me."

WHAM

"OW! What the hell was that for, Amai?!"

"You moron, the code phrase was supposed to be 'snuggle bunny,' not 'darling little snowflake' of all things!"

"But snuggle bunny is just…weird," Hakushi explained with a shudder. "Seriously, I feel wrong just saying it. Like I'm some kind of pedophile trying to lure you into a trap."

"I'm older than you!" Amaifuyu snapped.

"And do you really have to hit me all the time?" Hakushi went on. "Look, I get that your parents were pretty violent with one another while you were growing up, but part of that was because Hidan got off on-"

"LALALA, I can't hear you!" Amaifuyu shouted as he covered his ears. "Nope, can't hear a thing about my parents' sex life that totally doesn't exist, nope!"

"Big baby," Hakushi muttered. "Definitely takes after his mother."

"Hidan?" Both boys turned to look at the bound captive. "You know of that monster?"

"What about it?" Amaifuyu asked, turning his attention to the injured ninja.

The man suddenly noticed the Jashinist pendant dangling around Amaifuyu's neck, causing him to start and propel himself backwards until he was cornered against a tree. "I knew it! You're one of those freaks from Mount Muyo, aren't you?!"

"Mount Muyo? Hey, looks like we finally got a lead on where to go," Hakushi remarked. "Now all we have to do is find a map and plan a route!"

"Unholy things go on there," the ninja muttered. "No one who goes there ever comes back as a human! There's always something demonic and sick in their eyes afterwards, and they slaughter innocents for fun!"

"Mum never went after anyone who couldn't defend themselves," Amaifuyu countered. "They were all ninjas."

"They were good people slaughtered in the name of some deranged cult!" the man shot back. "Friendships were shattered, familial bonds broken, and for what?! The cult members' personal gain, those traitors and cowards! Hiding behind a god because they didn't have the strength to make it on their own."

"Buddy, how about you shut up," Hakushi suggested. "My friend here's getting really upset."

"I became a ninja to protect my home from the likes of such enemies," the ninja spat back. "I've seen what these Jashinists can do, and it's sickening. I hate to shatter whatever pretty illusions about Jashin you've built up in your head, kid, but the price paid in blood always outweighs the gift-"

Amaifuyu's arm moved so swiftly that Hakushi barely saw it. Instead, he caught sight of the movement's aftermath, seeing blood spurt out from the large gash Amaifuyu had made across the man's throat. "That's enough," the teen coldly stated as his victim gurgled pathetically. "You're of no further use to us." Once he was certain that the enemy ninjas was dead, he bent down and quickly wiped his sword off on the ninja's pants before returning the weapon to its normal place on his hip. "Come on, Hakushi. We've wasted enough time here."

"Amai?" The dark-skinned teen didn't respond at first, causing Hakushi to worry as they returned to the road. "Amaifuyu, what's wrong?"

Amaifuyu shook his head and straightened his glasses as he walked down the road. "Nothing. I'm just…a little shaken up."

"That was the first time you killed someone, wasn't it?"

Amaifuyu nodded. "I saw mum do it plenty of times during the ritual. It seemed so simple, and he enjoyed it…but actually killing someone is very different than watching it happen."

"But that's not all, right?" Failing to get a response yet again, Hakushi rushed in front of his partner and stopped the teen by firmly grasping his shoulders. "Amai, I can read you pretty well, probably better than anyone without eye techniques can. You're upset, and I'm guessing it had something to do with what he was saying about Jashinists, doesn't it?"

Amaifuyu hesitated for a moment, but when he realized that Hakushi wasn't going to let this drop he nodded in admission. "When I receive my gift from Jashin, I'll have to spend the rest of my life paying for it. People will die again and again because of a selfish desire I have; and even if they are enemies, they're precious to someone else. Thinking about it, I'm not entirely sure I have that in me."

"Amaifuyu, listen to me," Hakushi began. "Normally, you'd be right. Doing something like this, knowing that it's going to hurt so many people…I'd be against that. Normally. But you and I were born into the Akatsuki. For the rest of our lives, we're going to either be running or fighting because of our familial ties. Both of us are going to kill again and again, because we'll have to in order to stay alive. Dad warned all of us about this before we left, remember?" Amaifuyu nodded, recalling the leader's final bit of advice to the children before they said their last goodbyes to their parents. "We're both going to kill ninjas with friends and families over and over because we choose to stay alive. And if that's our fate, I want at least some part of you to be happy about it. Plus it can't hurt to have a god of death on our side."

Amaifuyu nodded, accepting Hakushi's explanation. "You're right. Thank you Hakushi."

The blue-haired boy grinned down at his shorter counterpart. "Any time, beautiful. Though if you really want to thank me, you can let me motorboat your new boobs as soon as-"

WHAM

"Ow! What did I just say about domestic abuse?" Hakushi whined from the ground.

"Jashin-sama," Amaifuyu pled in a manner that was becoming familiar, "please accept these deaths and ignore my horrible taste in men."

-meanwhile-

"You're clear on what I'd like the two of you to do?" a blond man asked, staring down at the teenagers before him with a scrutinizing gaze. The two were kneeling before him respectfully, while he sat upright on a plush cushion in his receiving room. They'd approached him about a job that he'd posted on a bulletin board in a tavern frequented by ninjas several days ago. He could tell that the pair of them were new to the field, but they seemed eager to please (and more importantly demanded a smaller payment than anyone else who'd approached him previously). "I cannot allow for any errors on this assignment."

Ahato gave the man a reassuring smile, which she'd carefully practiced for hours before she and Heki met with the client himself. "Trust me, sir. My partner and I do not allow for failure in our assignments. Your job will be carried out exactly as you wish, down to the last detail."

"Excellent. Come back here in three days for your payment; provided, of course, that you fulfill the job."

-n-

Zuki sighed as he closed up his shop for the night. When he had been a young man, the two-mile trek between his business and his house had been refreshing, and a good way to stay in shape. Now that he was an old man with a grey beard going down to his belt, the hike was a tiresome challenge that got a little bit harder each and every day. "Perhaps my son is right; I should consider retirement soon. Wait, what am I saying?! I have plenty of good years left in me!"

"Actually, you don't," an eerie voice called out from behind him.

Zuki spun around as quickly as his elderly hips would allow, looking around for the mysterious source of the voice. "Who's there?" he called out.

A voice chuckled from above him. Zuki looked up to see a mysterious cloaked figure hovering above him, a scythe clutched in his hand. "I'm the grim reaper."

Zuki paled and stumbled backwards until he was pressed against a nearby building. "I-it can't be my time!" he stuttered. "I'm still healthy and active!"

"And soon, you'll be joining me on a trip to the afterlife," the reaper said in a spooky manner. "If only you hadn't walked to the store so much, maybe your stressed little heart would have lasted longer."

"I'll change, I swear!" Zuki begged. "I'll stay home and spend time with the grandkids, I'll let my son handle the business, I'll finally take my wife on that vacation she's been asking for!"

"One more chance," the reaper uttered. "And if you don't keep your word-"

"I swear I'm done! I'll go home right now and sign the business over to my kid!" And before the reaper could take back his offer, Zuki had run off into the night, moving faster than he had in years.

The reaper slowly drifted lower and lower to the ground, breathing a sigh of relief as he was finally set down on terra firma. "I think that went rather well, mistress."

Ahato walked out of the shadows and nodded in agreement, completely releasing her chakra strings from the younger male's body. "I think our client will be rather pleased."

"But does this really count as criminal activity? I mean, haunting an old man because his son is worried about the guy's health doesn't seem evil. It's actually borderline thoughtful."

"Everyone has to start somewhere, Heki. We're starting with whatever gives us a paycheck."

"I guess…"

Heki suddenly found himself being jerked forward by chakra strings, bringing him dangerously close to Ahato. "I'm sorry pet, that almost sounded like you were doubting the brilliance of my plan. Or do you like sleeping out in the open with an empty stomach?"

"Of course not, mistress! It's just…this kind of practical joking seems beneath us. Boom and Tenshi wouldn't-"

Heki suddenly found himself flying through the air, landing on top of a three story building with a soft thud. Ahato's patience had apparently worn out. "I'm going to go collect our payment now, pet, and return the scythe to our client. If you're a good boy, I'll get you down from there in a few hours."

"Mistress, it's supposed to start raining soon!" Heki whined from his position. "There's no cover up here!"

"You have Rinnegan; use that to repel the rain."

"I can't do that for hours!"

"I'll see you later," Ahato called out, walking off and leaving a whimpering Heki to wonder why he had to fall in love with a girl who was possibly the devil incarnate.


	3. Chapter 2

A bubble of water was hovering in front of Tenshi, who was glaring at the liquid with Sharingan eyes. "Almost there…almost there…" The bubble suddenly exploded, splattering the already soaking wet girl with even more water. "Damnit to hell!"

"I thought you were supposed to be a prodigy," Boom commented from her seat under an oak tree. It had been nearly three days since the girls had stolen the scrolls from the shop, and Tenshi was still having difficulties learning the new techniques. Hell, even Boom had learned a few new moves in this short span of time.

"I've always practiced with techniques based on fire," Tenshi snapped. "Turning around and trying to use attacks of a water nature completely goes against everything I've practiced up until now! And besides, my nature is some weird fire-water-lightning hybrid thing. Jutsus like this give my chakra a major identity crisis!"

"But you have to master at least two natures to be a high-ranking shinobi, don't you?" Boom inquired.

Tenshi nodded in confirmation. "I think even Hidan did that; but since all he does now is slash and dash, I've never seen it in action."

"Wow."

"And the reason you need to master at least two natures," Tenshi continued, "is because some of the strongest techniques can only be brought about by combining two or more elements together."

"So if you can't get this technique down, you're going to get stuck at a low level forever, right?"

"What do you mean, 'you'? You need to learn something other than earth based tactics too!"

"Yeah, but check this out!" Boom made a series of hand signs and then slapped her palm down onto the ground in front of her. There was a little smoke, and when the redhead pulled her hand back the ground was black beneath her palm.

Tenshi gave her girlfriend an unimpressed look. "Was that supposed to be a fire jutsu?"

"No, listen," Boom ordered. "The scroll that we stole had this technique to pull a stone pillar out of the ground for protection."

"Uh-huh…"

"But when I performed it, I noticed that it pulled up a block of sandstone to shield me. But the soil around us right now is clay! The sandstone I summoned had to have been at least thirty feet down."

"Wow. How do you know so much about soil?"

"Dei-dei taught me so I'd know where to look for replacement clay. Anyway, I started thinking that maybe this technique is designed not to summon an earth wall, but to summon a specific type of earth to shield the user. So I've been working on the hand signs all day, and I think I've finally made a breakthrough. This black stuff," she explained, pointing to the spot of earth she'd just touched, "is pure carbon."

Tenshi bent down and rubbed the substance between her fingertips, surprised to find that the texture was not unlike pencil lead. "Wow. So, what are you going to do with this?"

"No idea!" Boom cheerfully admitted. "Right now the only thing it's good for is removing impurities from my clay." Tenshi's eyes suddenly fluttered shut as she fell forward, sending her straight into Boom's chest. "Tenshi! What's wrong?!"

Boom quickly checked her friend's pulse, relieved to find that Tenshi appeared to have simply passed out. "Dummy, using your Sharingan to try and master a technique faster." Carefully, Boom adjusted their positions so that Tenshi's head was in her lap. "Get some sleep, ok?" she murmured, brushing Tenshi's hair out of the older girl's face. "You can keep going after we take a little break."

-meanwhile-

"Ouch! Damnit…"

"If you know that you're going to hurt yourself by using taijutsu, why do you keep doing it?"

"I'm good at it, babe. I just have to get the whole 'not hurting myself in the process of using it' thing down."

Amaifuyu shook his head and continued to bandage Hakushi's bruised and burnt hands. On their way to Mount Muyo, they'd encountered a gang of bandits that insisted on picking a fight after Amaifuyu and Hakushi had refused to surrender their wallets and weapons. Now there was a pile of groaning, injured thieves on the side of the road as the boys treated their injuries nearby. Well, mostly Amaifuyu treated Hakushi. "I swear, you're just going to have burnt up little nubs left by the time you figure out how to avoid hurting yourself," Amaifuyu remarked.

"C'mon Amai, have a little faith in me!"

"In any case," Amaifuyu continued while putting the medical supplies back into his bag, "we need to think about our strategy once we reach Mount Muyo. It's not far off now; we could probably reach it by this afternoon, if we keep up this pace and don't encounter any additional bandits."

"Really? Wow. So…how exactly do you ask Jashin to make you a lady?"

"Prayer, obviously."

"Well yeah, but you've prayed to him before, right?"

"Yeah, but not the way mum does. Like, mum says that whenever he makes a sacrifice to Jashin, he can always feel Jashin's presence around him or sense a voice whispering in his ear. I've never had that."

"Huh. So, just wing it?"

"To put it crudely, yes."

"Sounds like my kind of plan."

"You know, I'm pretty sure Pein's hair would turn grey if he heard you talking like that."

"Nah, I'm sure pops is used to everyone making things up as they go. More importantly, let's just focus on getting to this temple right now." Nodding in agreement, Amaifuyu finished his patch job on Hakushi so the two could resume their traveling.

They only got a little way down the road before Hakushi began speaking again. "Hey, Amaifuyu?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't…you know, think I'm a bad partner or anything, do you?"

Amaifuyu gave the blue-haired boy a confused look. Hakushi was never self-conscious about himself; quite the opposite, usually. Where was this coming from? "Why do you ask?"

"It's just, I know that I don't have Rinnegan like Heki, and I can't use long-range attacks like he and Boom can. My ninjutsu's not as good as Ahato's, and I'll never be as good at genjutsu as Tenshi, so it just seems like you got the short end of the stick with a taijutsu fighter who's still trying to get the moves down. That's all."

Amaifuyu turned Hakushi's words over in his mind for a few moments. It was true that their skill sets weren't exactly complementary; they were probably the weakest team of the three groups right now. Furthermore, neither of them was particularly clever (unlike Ahato and Tenshi) and they'd yet to make any headway on criminal activity, except for the few ninjas they'd fought days earlier. All the same… "Hakushi, you have my back, don't you?"

"Well yeah, we're partners! Plus the whole, you know, me loving you thing."

"That's all I want from you," Amaifuyu declared. "Right now, the most important thing for me is to get a new body and have someone accept me. I…" the boy took a deep breath before going on. "I didn't even tell mum or dad about my plan before I left."

"Wow."

"So promise me that you'll be there for me when we get to Mount Muyo and I get a new body."

"I promise, Amai."

"Good." Amaifuyu smiled at his partner and giggled as they continued walking down the road. "It's weird to hear you act all nervous about something. Kind of a refreshing change of pace."

"I am not nervous!" Hakushi retorted, face slightly flushed from the assertion. "I'm the picture of manly confidence! Whatever I lack in skills right now, I more than make up for in charm and dashing good looks!"

"You're kidding, right?"

Hakushi proceeded to strike a pose and run his fingers through his hair in a manner that was supposed to be sexy. "Look at me, Amaifuyu. It's enough to make the gods jealous."

Amaifuyu rolled his eyes and kept walking. "_He's an idiot, but darn if he isn't a lovable idiot_."

-elsewhere-

"Mm, ah…feels so good…"

"Mistress, I wish you wouldn't overwork yourself like this," Heki gently chastised as he massaged Ahato's fingers. "Your poor hands are just going to keep cramping up!"

"That's the price of building my endurance," Ahato snapped back. "I need to surpass danna in some way; if only I could figure out how…"

"What about sending chakra out from other parts of your body?"

"?"

"Well, you have such long hair, mistress. Why not have the chakra flow through individual hairs instead of fingers? You could have living hair control things then!"

"Huh?"

"You know, like Medusa. Wait, not like Medusa!" he quickly corrected, seeing the look on Ahato's face. "Because you're far too pretty to be compared to Medusa, mistress! Just, the living hair bit was where I was drawing the analogy."

"I suppose I can see what you mean," Ahato remarked, making Heki relax as he continued to massage the girl. "But that's still not enough. Regardless of whether the chakra comes from my fingers, my hair, or even my toes, it's still fundamentally the same technique as danna's. The only difference between the two of us right now is that I use a living puppet." Heki bent his head and kissed the back of Ahato's hand, making the girl smile. "And a very good puppet at that."

"So perhaps it's not the technique itself that you need to work on, but the objects made to submit to your technique?"

"Hm, quite possibly…" Thinking to herself, Ahato turned around and motioned for Heki to move up and work on her shoulders. Heki obediently slid his hands upwards and began to massage the tired muscles, tutting at the redhead for allowing her muscles to tense up so much in the first place. However, after only a few minutes of rubbing, Heki leaned forward and began to softly kiss Ahato's neck. The puppeteer's breath hitched slightly at the gesture, prompting Heki to nibble at the warm flesh. "Someone is very close to being in trouble," she cautioned, though there was no malice or coldness in the warning.

"Mm, and what exactly are you planning to do to that someone if they really do get in trouble?" Heki murmured, kissing his way upwards and nibbling the shell of her ear.

Immediately the boy found himself being flipped onto the ground and straddled by a smirking Ahato. "Oh, I think you'll find out soon enough," the devious redhead answered with a predatory smirk.

-later that day-

Boom awoke to the sound of splintering wood late in the afternoon. The redhead had been practicing her mineral draw technique, as she liked to call it, for some time after Tenshi had passed out. Eventually she'd grown weary as well and had relaxed back against the tree, watching the clouds float by until at last she'd drifted off to sleep.

The girl looked around their campsite to see that a number of trees had been damaged during her slumber, and violently as well. Tenshi must have been making quite a racket; but Boom, having grown up under the care of Deidara, had grown used to sleeping through all but the most deafening of noises. "Tenshi?" she called out, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

The Sharingan wielder turned around and smiled at the redhead, completely soaked to the bone but looking ecstatic. "I got it down, Boom. Actually, I did one better than that."

"What'd you do?"

"Here, watch." Tenshi made a series of hand signs to summon a small bubble of water, as she'd been doing all morning. "Now, the idea is to compress the water to an extremely thin sheet, and then send it flying through the air at such high speeds that it cuts whatever it comes in contact with." As she explained this, the blue-haired girl carefully curled her fingers together, making the water compress. "But I have trouble controlling the water, so the technique always fails here. And that's when I realized something."

"What?"

Tenshi grinned like the cat that got the cream. "I may have trouble with water, but I definitely don't have trouble with lightning."

Boom watched in amazement as Tenshi made another series of hand signs which caused the water bubble to become electrified. Sparks flew through the air as the bubble grew thinner and thinner, obscuring Tenshi behind a cloud of steam. "Whoa!"

"The heat from the electricity makes the water boil off little by little at a time," Tenshi explained. "Plus the shock strengthens the force of the attack, so that when I finally throw it-"

The girl suddenly released the electrified water sheet, sending it straight into a tree and splitting the wood cleanly in half before the water went through and caused another tree to explode.

"-that happens," Tenshi finished.

"Wow Tenshi, that's amazing!" Boom remarked. Her delight turned to fear, however, when her friend once again collapsed to the ground. "Tenshi!"

"I'm fine, Boom," the Sharingan wielder panted as the redhead rushed to her aid. "Might have overdone it a bit though."

Boom frowned and cuffed her partner on the back of the head. "Just because Kisame's your dad doesn't mean that you automatically have as much chakra as him! And even if you did, you can't use it that well yet! Learn to pace yourself."

"I know exactly where my limit is," Tenshi retorted. "It just took me a while to figure it out when I use this move."

"Fine. Hey, what are you going to call it? It's a brand-new technique, so you get to name it!"

"Hadn't really thought about that too much," Tenshi admitted. "I just now got it figured out all the way."

"How about the electric squirt? Wait, that sounds like a bad dance move. Hm…"

"How about we forget naming it for now and get some dinner instead? I'm starving."

"Sure thing! I think we still have some leftover bear I can heat up," Boom replied. "Otherwise we'll have to go fishing again."

"Hn."

"Oh hush you."


	4. Chapter 3

"Wow. So this is it."

"Yeah."

Hakushi sent Amaifuyu a sideways glance, noticing how his magenta-eyed partner kept clenching and opening his fists. "Amai, are you ok?"

Amaifuyu nodded and tried to calm down. "I'm fine, Hakushi. It's just really real now."

The pair of them had finally reached their destination of Mount Muyo. A bit of searching had revealed a set of steps carved into the side of the mountain, which appeared to be the only real way to scale the rocky surface. The trek was precarious, and without Hakushi's powerful taijutsu the pair of them would have been swept off the mountainside by more than a few rockslides. They'd arrived at the top to find a set of giant doors carved into the mountain itself, decorated with ancient writings and a large Jashinist symbol in the center. There was no mistaking it; they'd reached Jashin's sanctuary.

"Any idea how we get inside now?" Hakushi inquired. "I could probably break down those doors for you, but I don't think Jashin would be happy about it. Wait, he's the god of destruction, so would destruction of Jashinist property be good or bad to him? Hmm…"

"As sweet as it is that you'd be willing to desecrate a religious site for me," Amaifuyu cut in, "Mum did tell me how to get inside here." He dropped his swords beside Hakushi and began walking forward, eyes glued on the door. "You just walk up to it and say a prayer until Jashin hears your plea."

"Ok. I'm just gonna stay back here, far away from the creepy door of death, and bandage up my hands then." Amaifuyu chose to ignore the "door of death" part of the remark and approached the entrance to Jashin's temple with a determined mind and a pounding heart.

Once he stood directly in front of the double doors, Amaifuyu slowly pressed his hands against the stone surface and quietly whispered the words that Hidan had so deeply ingrained into his head years ago. "Jashin, I am your loyal servant. Grant me the power to do your bidding, and give me a sign that you hear my prayers." Nothing happened. Amaifuyu took a deep breath and tried to clear his mind of everything, and then repeated his prayer. Again and again he did this, until finally the doors gave way and slowly swung back, revealing a pitch black chamber.

Amaifuyu slowly stuck his hand forward into the darkness, frowning a bit when he skin seemed to come in contact with a cold film of some sort. This darkness was definitely not natural; direct sunlight should have illuminated the entire chamber by now, but it remained as dark as it would have been if the two teens had come in the middle of the night. Quite foreboding, to say the least.

Nevertheless, Amaifuyu had come to this place with an express purpose in mind, and he was not about to let a little thing like unnatural darkness behind a door of death stop him from attaining his goal. And so the little Jashinist straightened his glasses, took a deep breath, and stepped into the temple.

He was able to take a few steps before the doors abruptly closed behind him, making his pulse quicken. He could vaguely hear Hakushi calling out, but the stone doors muffled the exact words the boy was screaming. Amaifuyu knew that he couldn't turn back now, and continued walking forward into the darkness.

"Oh, how impressive," a feminine voice giggled from above him. "Most of the time, visitors to my temple scurry back to the doors as soon as they shut, like little mice."

A woman suddenly appeared in front of Amaifuyu, glowing softly in an ethereal light. She wore the most elegant kimono that Amaifuyu had ever seen, covered in scenes of battle, fires, death, and destruction that seemed to move slightly in the unnatural light and shadow of the chamber. Her coal black hair was tied back and held in place with hairpins that Amaifuyu was almost certain were made of human bones, and she had a look on her face like a predator that's just cornered a particularly delicious kind of prey. There was no doubt in Amaifuyu's mind; this had to be Jashin.

"The last one who kept going into my temple when the doors shut was not unlike you," Jashin purred, strolling around Amaifuyu to get a good look at him. "Even their eyes were the same color as yours." She leaned forward so that she was right in Amaifuyu's face, and the little Jashinist watched in shock as her eyes suddenly changed from coal black to bright magenta. "This very shade, unless I am mistaken."

"How can you do that?!"

Jashin chuckled at the question and drew back. "I'm a god, little one; I can be anything I want." Jashin briefly covered her face with her hands, and when she removed them seconds later an entirely different countenance was in place. "I can be a man or a woman," Jashin explained, this time speaking in a voice that was decidedly male. "I can be pestilence, or famine, or despair, or depression. My form is whatever brings destruction; never forget that."

"I-I see," Amaifuyu replied, though it was going to take some time for this revelation to properly sink in.

Jashin smirked and covered his face again, changing back into a woman. "Now, what brings such an innocent little lamb like you to my temple, hm?"

"I'm not innocent," Amaifuyu countered. "I've already killed."

"Just twice," Jashin countered with a smirk. "And only one was intentional."

"You knew?"

"I see all death, little one. I watched you cut that woman down out of fear; if not her, than you, that was what you were thinking. But the other one…he insulted me and my followers. You murdered him out of rage. You wanted to silence that blasphemous voice once and for all. And for that, I have chosen to appear to you. But tell me," Jashin suddenly demanded, "where did you get these pretty little eyes? I've only ever seen one other pair like this."

"Mum," Amaifuyu quickly answered. "I got them from mum."

"And she taught you about me as well?" Jashin frowned. "But my only follower with such lovely eyes is Hidan."

"That's my mum!" Amaifuyu proudly declared. "He taught me your ways, and gave me this pendant!"

"Surely you mean your father."

Amaifuyu shook his head. "No, see, my dad is Hidan's partner. Um, I'm not entirely sure about the specifics, but there was alcohol and a henge, and mum got pregnant, and then I just started calling him mum because Kakuzu was dad, so-"

Amaifuyu suddenly had to stop speaking, because Jashin had doubled over and was laughing wildly. "Hidan, pregnant?! Oh, I knew things were going to be interesting when I granted his wish, but this is…oh, I wish I could've seen that…"

"You didn't know?"

Jashin calmed herself and straightened, the predatory smile back on her face. "I have little interest in what my followers do and don't do when they're not sacrificing to me. I did think it was a bit odd that one of my most faithful followers stopped sacrificing to me for nearly a year…a pregnancy would certainly explain that." Jashin began snickering again. "Though it's certainly not the explanation I would have guessed. I merely assumed Hidan was having a crisis of faith."

Jashin drifted forward and lightly cupped Amaifuyu's cheeks between hands that were as cold as death. "To think, he gave me such a lovely follower; I did well with Hidan. But now, on to more important matters. You're here to pledge yourself to me, in exchange for a blessing. What do you desire, little one?"

"You can give me anything, right? Like how you made mum immortal?"

A devious look crept over Jashin's face. "Is that what Hidan told you? That my gift to him was immortality?"

"Yeah. And I've seen mum do things that would kill a normal person, so I know-"

"Oh you innocent little lamb," Jashin purred, stroking Amaifuyu's cheek with his thumb, "all the followers I speak to personally are granted immortality. It would be impossible for them to complete most of my rituals without that blessing."

"W-what?"

"Hidan was given something he needed more, at the time," Jashin explained.

"What was that?"

"Ah-ah, what kind of god would I be if I didn't keep a few of my followers' secrets? Ask your dear sweet mum yourself, next time you see him," Jashin suggested, giggling at the "mum" part. "But to answer your other question, I can indeed give you anything."

"Make me a woman," Amaifuyu demanded. "I want to be female."

Jashin raised a brow. "That's a first. Completely doable, of course, but certainly not what I was expecting."

"That's what I want," Amaifuyu declared.

"And what will you give me in exchange?"

"Whatever you wish," Amaifuyu immediately replied. "Because of who my parents are, I'll always be on the run and forced to kill. At least with your aid, I can get something out of it."

Jashin smiled, quite pleased with this answer. "Very well. If you want my blessing, here's what I want you to do. My followers were once numerous and strong; but over the years, their numbers have dwindled. Many have lost the faith, and die when I retract their blessing of immortality. As it stands now, your mum is the only one I can count as one of my true devotees. And so I want you to rebuild my religion."

"What?"

"You will gather new followers. You will repair my temples and make the name of Jashin known throughout the lands. Do this, and I will grant your wish. For every follower you bring into the fold, a little more will change for you. Your transformation will be slow at first, but if you persevere than I shall greatly reward you."

"Where should I go first?"

Jashin was delighted to see that Amaifuyu had not backed down from such a challenge. "To the north lies a temple that is dear to my heart. But a nobleman has built over the temple and turned the villagers away from my beliefs. Kill him in my name, and restore my temple to its former glory."

"How do I know you won't back out of our deal?" Amaifuyu questioned. "It seems like I have to give a lot before I get anything back."

He was half-expecting Jashin to lash out at him for his insolence. Much to his surprise, the god kept smiling and slid his hands upwards to remove Amaifuyu's glasses. "Then here is a gift in advance, little one." And she pressed her lips to each of Amaifuyu's eyes in turn.

Amaifuyu, who had always had incredibly bad vision without glasses, suddenly found the world to be incredibly clear to his eyes; in fact, his vision seemed even better than when he'd worn his glasses. "This is amazing," the little Jashinist murmured.

"And there will be more rewards for you, as long as you do what I ask of you," Jashin promised. "Are you ready to accept my mission?"

"Yes Jashin-sama."

Out of Amaifuyu's line of vision, a pike suddenly appeared in Jashin's hand. "Excellent." And she stabbed Amaifuyu through the heart.

Amaifuyu gasped in shock, reaching up towards the pike and grasping the metal uselessly. There was an overwhelming pain in his chest as blood gushed forth from the wound, and he could no longer feel the pounding of his heart. His breathing was growing labored, and his vision began to fade as his legs gave way. This was it, this was the end, he had to be dying. Regret filled his heart, knowing that he would never again see Hakushi or his parents…

And then suddenly, his vision returned. It became easier to breathe, and he was able to sit up. There was still an intense pain in his chest, but it didn't prevent him from either standing up or pulling the pike out of his chest. He yanked the weapon free, wincing a bit as more blood began drizzling from the wound. "Damn, that hurt," he muttered.

"Sorry little one," Jashin whispered from inside his head, badly startling Amaifuyu. "But you had to die, just this once. Now, as long as you follow my doctrine, death will never again come to you."

"I see…so is this how you'll talk to me from now on?"

"Yes. Our time is up for now though; go on. The door is open." Amaifuyu turned around to see the stone doors swinging back, allowing a bit of sunlight to filter in this time. Dragging the pike behind him (who would be foolish enough to toss away the gift of a god?) he exited the chamber.

Hakushi was standing near the doors, anxiously awaiting Amaifuyu's return. "Babe, there you-HOLY SHIT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!"

Amaifuyu looked down and realized he was covered in his own blood. "Oh. Jashin stabbed me."

"WHAT?!"

"It's ok, she had to!"

"She?!"

"Jashin is whatever Jashin wants to be," Amaifuyu quickly explained. "And she wanted to be a girl when we met."

"But how are you not dead?!"

"Well, uh, it turns out that all Jashinists that actually meet Jashin get to be immortal. Something about completing the rituals properly and all that jazz."

"…What."

"Basically I'm immortal on top of becoming a woman," Amaifuyu explained. "Also, I died. So this day is off to an interesting start."

"But you still look like a boy."

"Yeah, about that…"

"?"

"Hakushi, how do you feel about a trip up north?"

-meanwhile-

Ahato grimaced as Heki retched again, sweat running down his face and leaning heavily against a tree near the edge of the forest they were trekking through. "Honestly, your stomach ought to be empty by now. You've been puking for the last two hours."

"And whose fault is that?!" Heki demanded. "Surely we could have found some thief to test your poison on, not-urk!" His complaint was abruptly cut off by a fresh bout of dry-heaving.

"I needed to make sure it worked in case we run into any real threats!" Ahato argued. "Plus we can get a lot more jobs if I can tell the clients for sure what sort of poisons I have in my arsenal."

"This sucks," Heki complained, sinking down to the ground and curling up into a ball. "I never want to eat ever again."

Ahato took pity on her partner and crouched down beside him, pulling his head into her lap. "Don't worry, Heki. The poison should be out of your system soon, and complaining right now isn't going to help."

Heki, retaining some iota of his self-respect, moved his head out of Ahato's lap and flattened himself completely against the cool earth beneath him. "You still shouldn't test poisons on me, mistress. It's cruel."

"Danna would test poisons on Dei-dei in a pinch."

"Deidara's different from me," Heki protested. "Maybe he can handle extreme nausea or hallucinations, but I can't. Please mistress, don't do that again."

Ahato blinked at her partner in surprise for a few moments, but at last nodded her head in agreement. It honestly hadn't occurred to her that Heki might have a problem being her guinea pig; particularly since he was so willing to be her puppet in battle. "All right. Next time I'll find a bandit or something."

Heki sighed in relief. "Thank you."

Ahato chanced moving Heki's head back into her lap, pleased when her pet chose to stay put this time and actually snuggle into her. "You know, I'd never use anything on you that could have a lasting effect. You're too valuable to me for that."

"I don't want anything used on me, permanent or otherwise."

"Why didn't you mention something sooner?"

Heki gave Ahato a flat look. "Forgive me, mistress, but I didn't think that I needed to explain to you that one of my hard limits was being injected with mysterious toxins immediately after breakfast."

"Well, lesson learned." Heki let out a pathetic whimper, prompting Ahato to run her fingers through his hair. "Shh, pet. You're fine. I'm right here."

"Mistress, please kill me and spare me the suffering," Heki whined.

"How about I give you something to lessen the nausea instead?"

"…That'll do."

-m-

"All right Boom, one more time."

"Tenshi, I'm exhausted!" the redhead exclaimed. "And my hands are cramping up!"

"Just one more time Boom," Tenshi assured her partner. "We almost have this move down perfectly!"

"You said one more time half an hour ago! This is getting ridiculous; even you have to be close to dropping by now."

"Please Boom? Pretty please?"

The female bomber let out a groan in defeat; it was hard to refuse Tenshi anything. "I hate you sometimes, you know that?"

Tenshi grinned in response and began making a flurry of hand signs. "All right, here we go!"

Tenshi slammed her hands to the ground and summoned a huge lake of water. Boom had been making a series of hand signs as well and made contact with the water as soon as Tenshi had moved back to a safe distance. The water seemed to vanish before their very eyes in a gush of air; Tenshi had separated the hydrogen and oxygen molecules.

Tenshi waited until Boom had gotten out of the way and then unleashed a fireball directly into the former center of the lake. The hydrogen created a massive explosion that leveled a few trees, followed by the remaining hydrogen recombining with oxygen back into water.

"Perfect!" Tenshi cheered, pumping her fist into the air. "I told you we just needed one more time."

"Fine, now can we please go back to camp?" Boom begged, gingerly fingering the singed tips of her hair. "I want to change into clothes that don't smell like smoke, and I'm hungry."

"Sure thing sweetie."

Tenshi smirked as Boom turned and began heading back towards the camp, slowing sneaking up on the girl until she was only a few feet behind Boom. Grinning, she took a running leap and pounced on her partner, sending the confused redhead to the ground. "ACK! Tenshi, could we go at least one day without you pouncing on me?!"

"Poppa says if you ever lose the desire to pounce on your significant other, it's a sign that the relationship is in trouble."

"Well Dei-dei says if your partner keeps sneak attacking when you're trying to eat, or sleep, or take a break, it's perfectly acceptable to sneak explosives into their bed in the middle of the night."

"Sweetie," Tenshi cooed, scooping her redheaded partner up off the ground, "how about I carry you back to camp and make you some dinner now, hm?"

"Bribery won't work on me," Boom growled, though she made no move to break free of Tenshi's grasp. "And how are you so strong?"

"Good genes," Tenshi answered. "Same reason I'm so smart and can make all these great techniques for you and me."

"Speaking of which: Tenshi, we've built up our skills a lot in the past couple of weeks, right?"

"Hn."

"So we should be ready to actually take on a job, right?"

Tenshi thought this over for a minute. "Yeah, you're right. Ok, we'll get a good night's sleep tonight and head out for a village first thing in the morning!"

"Can't we sleep in a little?"

"Hn."

Boom gave her partner a flat look, silently wondering why she never bothered to take Kisame up on his offer for "hn" translation tutoring. It certainly would have helped in moments like this.


End file.
